💔 A Letter From a Tired Heart - A Loveless Marriage - Day 3

This morning, I woke up clutching my stomach, those sharp, twisting cramps that make you forget how to breathe. I looked at my calendar, confused. Ten days early. Damn it.

If you are a woman, you know that feeling, The frustration and the pain. As I swung my legs out of bed and placed my feet on the floor, it felt like stepping on thorns. My feet hurt, my back ached, and my mood? Let’s just say it was a storm waiting to break.

Still, I pulled myself up. Because that’s what we do, we push through. But as I shuffled to the kitchen, exhausted, the man I married gave me that look. You know that ONE look that silently says, “You are just being lazy.”

To avoid an argument, I muttered softly, “I got my periods. I am unwell.”

And then came the sentence that broke me. “My sister never behaved like this. Behaving as if she is the only woman in the world”

That one line cut deeper than the cramps. Because what he was comparing me to was his sister, ten years ago, before she was married, before the daily grind, before life’s invisible weights started stacking up.

How can you compare two women from two completely different worlds?

His sister didn’t have to travel through traffic for hours every day. She didn’t sit at a desk for 8 hours fighting back pain and deadlines. She didn’t come home to cook, clean, manage, nurture, while silently fighting a body that’s screaming inside.

And maybe, just maybe, she wasn’t going through what I might be, hormonal imbalance, stress-induced cycles, pre-menopausal changes, chronic fatigue, or anxiety that no blood test can measure.

Women’s bodies are not machines. We are cycles of change, physical, emotional, spiritual. And no two cycles are the same.

So, to every woman reading this:  Please, don’t let anyone make you feel weak for your pain. You are not overreacting. You are surviving battles no one else can see. Cry if it helps. And know this: your worth is not measured by how well you hide your pain.

And to the men who are reading:

When she says she’s in pain, believe her. Don’t compare. Just show empathy. Sometimes love doesn’t need words,  just understanding.

Because every cruel comment might fade, but its stays - long after the cramps do.

💔 A Letter From a Tired Heart - A Loveless Marriage - Day 2

Dear Diary,

Oh my God… what an immature person I was married to. Today he came to me and said sorry. But it didn’t feel real,  not even for a second. I have lived through too many years, too many cycles of his fake guilt, and his sudden softness that always vanishes the moment I stop agreeing with him.

If I stay quiet, he gets triggered, like silence itself offends him. 

He throws words like knives, each one meant to wound, to control. 

But today… today was different. I looked straight into his eyes and said “No.” Hiding all my pain.

Just one word  and everything changed. His tone shifted instantly. The man who pretended to be remorseful only moments ago turned harsh again, like the mask had slipped and his true face finally showed.

That’s when it hit me this was never love. It was an act. A carefully rehearsed play for the world to see. Maybe he has some family function coming up, maybe he needs to parade the illusion of a “happy marriage.” I don’t know. But I do know this his apology wasn’t for me. It was for the audience he wants to impress.

And for the first time, I didn’t fall for it. I didn’t melt. I didn’t hope.

I just felt… tired.

Maybe that’s what real clarity feels like.